Tuesday, December 6, 2016

The Toughest Part About Being A Mother

The toughest part about being a new mom is not the sleepless nights, the figuring things out or the explosive poops. The hardest part is the first day after maternity leave. After a year of being together (9 months in the tummy and 3 outside) I am returning to work and will be away from Mikey for hours.

My heart is broken. 

What comforts me is knowing that I am doing this for his future (and that my mom will be taking care of him the next 3 months while I am gone!) Walking away from my smiley ball of sunshine is just soooooo tough. Since I've become a mother, I have a newfound respect for all mothers. It's a tough, yet rewarding gift, and for me, it's tougher than any job I have ever had but I would not exchange it for anything else.

So, here's a shout-out to the brave moms who do what they need to do for the love of their family, whether it's deciding to stay at home, work from home or work away from home - our decisions are born out of necessity.

As a working mom who will be away from my baby longer than I wish, the best advice I've gotten is: "You're going to be more bothered by it than he will be. He is going to be fine." 

So true. I will need to remind myself that the problem is my separation anxiety and this is something that I will have to deal with on my own because Mikey is happy and fine. He is too young to realize what's happening around him and for as long as his needs are being met, he's a-ok. 

Looking back, now I know how my mom felt when all she wanted was for me to text her back what time I will be home when I was drunk and happy at some college party. I should have texted her without hesitating. Now I understand why mothers never stop worrying. It's because a woman's heart is forever going to be outside her body once she gives birth.

Photo taken right before I walked out the door on my first day back at work

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