Tuesday, January 24, 2017

Questionable Baby Products

Last week, I wrote about baby products that we love, which sparked an idea - why not write about strange baby products? As a new mom, it's easy to just drop money on items that promise to make the motherhood journey a little easier and, a lot of companies capitalize on this... However, there are some who took it too far (like, a galaxy far, far away). Here's a roundup of questionable items that I have seen online...

1. Kickbee
As if oversharing on social media is not enough, Kickbee allows moms to automatically send Tweets to family members and loved ones whenever their baby kicks.... Why? I don't have the answer.

2. Baby Keeper

In the world of questionable parenting, this is s best-seller. Somewhere, someone had a Eureka moment while trying to pee in a public toilet AND hold their infant at the same time *gasps*... Little did they know that the solution to their problem already exists *ahem* baby *ahem* stroller. If turning your baby into a fly on the wall is a dream you once had, then you're in luck because the Baby Keeper is just $39 away.

Yes, Jackie, I feel the same way.

3. Zaky Pillow

Got a newborn that cries 24/7? No problem. Enter the Zaky Pillow. If the idea of being cuddled by sausage-like, monstrous fingers that's supposed to mimic the feeling of being cradled in the womb sounds like a great idea, then, this is for you... I mean, the idea is sound but the execution is a wee bit questionable.

4. Peepee Tee-Pee

What is this sorcery? A party hat for ants? If you're not willing to spend money on this, an alternative is to place baby wipes on top of your son's penis to prevent a golden shower. Then again, a golden shower is a rite of passage for parents of a baby boy.


5. Baby Mop

I agree with starting them young on a lot of things, but cleaning at 4 months old? This counts as child labor, amiright?

6. Baby Heels

Talk about babies growing up way too fast - The baby heels just speeds up the aging process. This goes along with my dislike for baby pageantry where adorable little girls are dressed to look way older than what they are. There may be people out there who love it, but not this mommah.

Leopard print and heels for babies.. Nope.

7. Baby Poop Alarm

Whoever thought of this must not be a parent. Here's a great idea, how about saving your $52 and instead, smell your baby's bum for poop. I swear, you don't even have to get too close to know that baby has released the kraken.


8. Baby Butt Fan

Because air drying is overrated.


See, I believe that motherhood is a unique, personal journey and what I might find silly, others might find useful. Do you have anything else to add to this list?

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